That Running Thing

I've had a few people ask if I'm still doing "that running thing" so I thought it might be time for an update. YES I am still doing that running thing, and so far I'm still alive. . .even a little thinner! For those interested in the technical details of how the heck I'm going to run a 25K here ya go. I'm sure it's not the best training plan ever, but here's what I've come up with . . .

Since I was basically starting at square one, I decided to start with one of the couch to 5K programs I've heard so much about. I know I've already ran a few 5K's but it's been a while and this seemed like the best option to get me back up to where I was and allow me some time to start improving on my mile time before adding distance. I'm on week 4 and so far it's going really well. To be honest, I didn't think it would be that hard since I wasn't literally coming from the couch  (I've been running for quite a few months, just not consistently and not far), but clearly I was giving myself too much credit because it has NOT been easy! I am improving on my time though which was a big goal with these first few miles. I'm also incorporating some basic strength training on off days. Once I'm done with the 5K program then I'm going to do the Bridge to 10K program which should get me back to a 10K by the end of November. There's a mentor running program thing in our area that starts in January for people wanting to run their first 25K so I'm hoping by then I should be at a decent point to start with them. Still trying to forget about the fact that they meet at 8am on Saturdays and run OUTSIDE in the middle of winter (Are these people crazy????)

With regards to the fundraising and all that, we haven't had our big kickoff yet so I don't have too much to share on that front. The outpouring of support from my fellow Engage Committee members and friends and family has been amazing though. People keep telling me how inspirational this whole thing is. . . .I don't necessarily find myself that inspirational but I do appreciate the compliment.

Now on the personal side of things. . I think I am going to be surprised at the effects this has on me. I've always been good at following through on anything I say I am going to do, but I've also always been good at sabotaging myself and not really allowing myself to live up to my full potential. I'm also really good at get comfortable and getting lazy. This is forcing me so far out of my comfort zone (physically and emotionally) that it's teaching me to push myself in other areas too. . and surprisingly, it's kind of fun! Instead of worrying about it or thinking I'm going to fail, I'm sort of just taking it day by day and looking forward to an amazing reward at the end. I'd say that's a darn good life lesson! I'll let you know if I'm still feeling so optimistic when I'm running in the snow. . .

Changing the World 1 Kilometer at a Time!

So clearly I haven't been keeping up on the blog posts like I originally intended and my excuse is that I've been busy.. . .real busy. Just a few months ago I decided I wanted to do something big and mentioned that I wanted to run the 25K Riverbank Run in 2013. I wanted to do something big that would change my life, but I also have really been wanting to do something big that would change the lives of others, I just wasn't quite sure what. I had a feeling this would be the year of big things but didn't have any specifics in mind (and no my idea of big thing does NOT include having a child). Well, I've managed to get myself into something that has the potential to be HUGE and I'm really excited to share it with you. There aren't a lot of details that I can share yet, and the real "kick-off" is about another month or two away but to sum it up, I am running the 25K to raise funds for a scholarship for Veteran's or their dependents. It's kind of hard to explain at this point so I am just going to share some recent emails to give you a general idea. . .

From my WGVU Engage Committee Leader:

"Good afternoon everyone!

I hope everyone is preparing for a great Labor Day Weekend, but before you do, please take a moment to hear about something exciting!

During our last WGVU Engage Committee meeting the Veterans Sub-Committee talked about how one of their goals is to fully fund the LZ Michigan Scholarship by June 30, 2012.  This is a scholarship that WGVU set up after LZ Michigan for Veterans and/or Veterans dependents to attend GVSU.  At the end of the meeting a young lady who has been involved with WGVU Engage since the beginning approached me about an idea she had.  Before I share the idea, a little about Alison.

Alison has been part of WGVU Engage since the first meeting.  Her Dad is a Vietnam Veteran which is how she became involved with WGVU through LZ Michigan.  She is very passionate and believes in making a difference in our community.  She has helped at LZ Michigan, GVSU/LZ 5K Fun Run, and will be helping at the upcoming Public Broadcasting Society Fall Preview event in September.

Her idea was to raise funds for the LZ Michigan Scholarship Endowment by running the Fifth Third River Bank Run in May 2013, the 25K!  We are still working out the fundraising side of things for sponsors, donors, etc.  We will let you know more as it develops.  Alison has done a 10K before and several 5K races.  As we talked yesterday we discussed how not only can this impact the Veterans Sub-Committee but also the Education, Health and Inclusion (Women & Girls Lead) Committees in a positive way.

Here is where we need some assistance at this time.  We are looking to surround Alison with a great support team and potential training/running partners from now until and maybe including the 25K in May.  She has told me, no matter what, she will finish the race.  I am be no means the healthiest, fittest person around or have a lot of knowledge in running a marathon, nutrition, etc.  So I am reaching out to those that are the experts.  We would like to ask all of you if you would like to be part of the LZ Michigan Alison Glowinski 25K Team.  That may be in help training, nutrition expertise, places to get info, running with her at the River Bank Run, etc.

I look forward to working out a lot of details over the next few months and doing anything we can to support Alison in her mission to be an inspiration for others, learn about health and complete her first 25K all while raising funds to help Veterans and their dependents achieve a post-secondary education.

Our Veterans Co-Chair said it best today, and I wanted to share why I am very excited, and that is the fact that WGVU Engage is moving forward and that our Engage Committee members are passionate about making a difference in our community and willing to share their great ideas with and allow WGVU to be part of them!

Please let me know any thoughts you may have or if you are interested in being part of the LZ Michigan Alison Glowinski 25K Team.

Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend!  Thank you Alison!"

My email response:

"Hello everyone,

Thank you Tim for the grand introduction (and naming of a team after me!). I have already received emails from a few people offering to help and I really can't express my gratitude enough. You'll learn more about me and my story as we go along, but as Tim said this is something I am very passionate about.  .the Endowment Fund, not the running part :)

As we were talking in our last meeting it really broke my heart to think that we did this amazing LZ Michigan event that changed so many lives and now the part of it that could really live on forever was less then a year away from being shut down, simply because of the money. I'm not in a financial position to change that, but not having the money has never put a stop to me before. 

I had already theoretically planned on running the 25K and something just clicked that maybe I could put the two together. I know to some people running a race like that is not a big deal, but for me, it's a huge deal. Tim mentioned I've ran various 5K's and a 10K but I use the term ran very loosely and have taken far too much time off. I've never been physically fit, always been overweight, and a few years ago went through some pretty serious health issues. Doing those first few races was a big deal for me and life changing and something I want to be able to share with other people. This event is really two sided for me with the Endowment Fund and the Health side.

While I am slightly overwhelmed (or more than slightly) at the thought of people seeing what I am doing, and hearing my story, I am really excited about this and the fact that we could get this scholarship funded. Veteran's and their families face so many day to day challenges, a big one being the ability to be financially secure, which I've been through with my own family. If all I have to do is figure out how to run a 25K to be able to give someone the chance at an education and take the burden of paying for school off them and their family, then I'm figuring out how to run a 25K and I'm not stopping until I'm done. This has the potential to be huge and while that's kind of scary for me personally, that's why I'm on the Engage Committee. I love the free lunches and all, but I'm here because I want to make a difference. 

I really just wanted to say thank you in advance for your help with this and thank you to Tim for turning my idea of maybe raising a $1000 into something so much more. And if you have ideas on how to turn me into a runner. . .send them my way!!"

Consider that a preview of things to come! I was going to wait to share everything until we had the details worked out but our committee is about community engagement and the more I can share, the more people I can potentially attract to get involved. If you have any advice, if you want to be part of the team, or if you just want some more information let me know. I'm am going to make a conscious effort to blog about this journey and I promise you it will be entertaining. . .me running a 25K is hilarious enough to think about let alone to actually write about. 

And since I am painfully honest, here's how I am feeling right about now  . . ."Fuck me, what did I just get myself into!?!?!"

On a totally separate note, I can not figure out how to make the fonts and backgrounds consistent in my blog so sorry if it looks all crazy!

Finally. . . A Blog Post!

I think my most recent posts have been a lot less harsh but none the less I thought this picture was beyond appropriate and it made me laugh. I guess I use the word recent pretty lightly since its been forever since I've even posted anything. It's my total life makeover that is taking over my life!! Things have actually been going really well, just really busy. Started my new career and am finally falling into the groove of it - think this one may stick for more than a year or two, just the past 2 weeks I've been getting myself back into running (yes, I still think I'm running a 25K next year), and everything else I mentioned in the last post is falling into place. I do feel myself becoming a much more balanced person overall. 

We spent last weekend camping with friends  which was beyond amazing and a much needed break. I am definitely the type of person that just needs to get away once in a while. Being outside, not checking my cell phone, laughing, joking, relaxing. . . .It just felt good to be around people I always have a blast with and am completely comfortable with (even though I just met 2 of them!) and to not have to put on make up or care about really anything at all. I even went skinny dipping in Lake Michigan which never in my wildest dreams would I think I would do with other people around. Granted, it was really dark, but I'm generally not the type of person who is OK with even wearing a bathing suit so that was kind of a huge deal when I actually thought about it after the fact. I am overall a very confident person but my body is one thing I've never been overly confident about. In fact it's something I've obsessed about for the greater portion of my life. I honestly cannot think of a time in life when I have not been trying to lose weight. I've done the diets, the weight watchers, the this, that and the other. Some have worked, some have seriously failed. I've lost significant amounts of weight just to gain them back, it's a never ending battle and I have never once been OK with the way I look. Frankly, it's exhausting to think how much time and mental energy I've spent on obsessing about my weight. I'm finally starting to learn that I'm perfectly fine the way I am.  And now that I am fine with the way I am, I am slowly starting to lose the weight, and lose it for good. . . .sure wish some one would have told me that was the secret 20 years ago. Seems so simple! I'm sure it has to do with my running and complete alteration of my diet, but it's beyond freeing to not obsess on it. I'm running because I have a goal to run the race, and I changed my diet to feel better and not be sick. . . my decisions were not based on wanting to lose weight, and they were life style changes, not temporary fixes. And finally, I am eating what I like and working out when I want and not obsessing about calorie counting, or work out regimens, or weighing in at a meeting. It's starting to become part of every day life like brushing my teeth. I could seriously write a billion pages on this and my next few posts will probably be related. I feel like if I could have had this epiphany years ago, I could have saved myself a ton of emotional stress, and maybe by sharing I can help some one else in the same situation. 

And now, just because of the picture, I feel like I need to close with something kind of feisty. I found a quote I loved recently: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." If people spent as much time focusing on how to change their situations instead of constantly bitching, the world would be a much better place. . .and I would be far less irritable :) QUIT YER BITCHIN!

The Peanut Race

For a while now I've been slowly changing a lot of things in my life and really learning a lot about myself. . .what I enjoy, what I value, what I want to do when I grow up, who really cares about me, who I really care about, the list goes on. Slowly but surely I've started this whole revolution without even realizing it. I've decided to call it my total life makeover (sounds catchy right?). I think it really started with my health and my celiac diagnosis which has since lead to various other health issues but along the way it's become so much more than just trying to not be sick all the time. I'm really transitioning to a very natural and more simple life, from food to the items I purchase to the things I choose to do each day. I'm training for my first 25k race, I'm starting a new career, we are living off cash (no more Target splurges!) and paying off our debt, I'm learning to grow my own vegetables and eat all natural, non processed foods, we're cleaning out the un-needed junk in our house and I'm spending my time and energy on the genuine relationships in my life. . . .and I do plan to return to church someday. Contrary to what my previous self thought, I don't need a new shirt to be happy, I don't need a fancy dinner to be full, and running is actually therapeutic (notice I did not say fun). Maybe I'm just growing up (which I doubt because I still love drinking until 2am and sleeping until noon) or maybe the events of my life are just starting make sense and I'm finally ready to not only accept certain things but to really appreciate them. So now that you've had a small peak into my soul (yes, I do in fact have a soul) here is a great article that helped to put everything in perspective for me. It's a little long but it really hit home with me and maybe it will with you too.. . . .

The Peanut Race

By Gloria Tibbs

In route from one city to another (I never can seem to remember the destination

with all the travel - I just remember that I was on a plane!), a gentleman (much to

my senior - I don't really want to call him "elderly"!) sat next to me and we struck

up a conversation (you know, the kind about the weather - not too much

substance). Then this man proceeded to teach me the most important lesson

(bar none!) that life has ever taught me!

As he took the cocktail napkin (from under his soda) and the pen from his shirt

pocket, he drew six shapes that all resembled a Peanut. He went on to say, "I

want to teach you something about life. It's kind of like a Peanut Race." I thought

"Peanut Race? Now, that's a new one!" He asked, "Have you ever played a

Peanut Race?" I quickly responded, "No, I can't say that I have!" (I was humored

by his "southern drawl" and he appeared to be really witty!) He continued, "Well,

when I was a little boy," I thought to myself that had to be a good 70 years or so

at least! "We didn't have a lot of money, so we had to come up with something

creative to entertain us. The Peanut Race was always my favorite! (I was thinking

by now, OK - but what's this got to do with life? Sounds like a kid's game!) He

explained, "The way you play this game is that you paint all of the peanuts

different colors and you give each kid six peanuts --one of each color. Then you

line the peanuts up in front of each kid and you tape down a strip of masking tape

(or draw a straight line of chalk if you're playing outside) about six feet away from

the peanuts. The kid that gets their peanuts across the line of tape (or chalk) first

wins! There's only one rule - you can only move the peanuts with your nose! You

can't pick them up, kick them or put them in your mouth! You have to roll them

with your nose."

By now I was getting intrigued, and I asked, "So, did you usually win?" He

laughed and said, "Not for a very long time. You see, I always came in last. It

took me years to figure out the trick." "What trick?" I asked. "Well," he continued,

"You see the kid that always came in last, me, tried to roll one peanut at a time

across the line. I'd take the yellow one first and roll it six feet from the starting

point - all the way across the line and then I'd come back and get the red one. I'd

roll it all the way across the line and then I'd come back and get the blue one, the

green one, and so on and so forth." I interrupted, "Well, that sounds like how you

should play the game." "Not really, Not when you really think about it. You see,

the kid that always came in first was really smart. He was really clever and time

and time again he'd finish the race long before anyone else!" "How?" I finally

asked.

"You see, he knew that the real secret of winning this race was to keep all the

peanuts as close together as possible and in focus. He'd push the yellow one

ahead about an inch, then he'd get the pink one and push it about an inch, then

the blue one, then the red one, back to the yellow, then the pink, then the blue

and so on. The other players would make six very long trips (back and forth) to

get their peanuts --you know, they'd take the red one all the way then go back go

fetch the blue one. But not this kid, he made only one trip keeping all his peanuts

right in front of him the whole time and never loosing site of any of them."

(Now I was really confused) "OK, it sounds like a fun game but I still don't see

how this game applies to life?" He just laughed, "Patience" he said and then

continued, "Have you ever noticed in life how people forget what's really

important? Like the mega-millionaire that killed himself the other day? Seems he

accomplished all his goals, he got all the money and fame he was striving for but

he lost his family, his friends, his morals and his health along the way?" "Yeah,

You hear about things like that all the time - You wonder why things like that

happen," I said. He continued, "Or, Don't you frequently hear people say how

miserable they are with their job, in their personal life, that their health is shot,

they should loose weight, quit smoking (or whatever) but they never seem to

have the time?" "Absolutely - I hear people complain all the time" I responded.

"What about the guy (or gal) who is unfaithful to their spouse (and their family)

because they're not satisfied with the life they are living and they feel that they

must "cheat" on their partner to feel "complete and satisfied?" he asked. "Well,

I've certainly witnessed that many times in my life", I confessed.

Then he "hit me right between the eyes" with a lesson I will never forget! "Well,

you see, life is kind of like a peanut race. If you let each color peanut represent a

different aspect of your life you'll see what I mean. For example, the red peanut

would represent a person's career. The green peanut would represent a person's

family. The blue peanut would represent a person's friendships. The yellow

peanut would represent a person's health. The pink peanut would represent a

person's morals, belief's and values, etc. You can really make the meaning

different to each peanut - whatever you want to label it as." "I'm beginning to get

the picture but I'm not quite with you yet", I responded.

"Well, the sad thing about life", he continued, "is that too many people don't really

understand how to play the game. They get their priorities out of focus and they

get totally confused about what's really important. You see, many people will play

the game just like the kids that always loose - they'll focus on one aspect of life

(you know, one peanut) at a time. For example, haven't you heard people say,

"I'll just throw myself into my career, I'm going to concentrate on my success and

nothing else." They think everything else will just "catch up" some day. They

overlook (or leave behind) their family, their friends, their health and perhaps

even their morals, values and beliefs. Then one day they wake up and wonder

why they gained success in the business world and lost everything else along the

way." "I see" I responded (and I was beginning to see…). "You see, Gloria other

people give all their energy and focus to the family or their friends and they never

seem to be able to have a successful career! They bring their problems to work

and they can never give their undivided attention to the job, all their attention is

focused on their personal life - it can work both ways!"

"Wow" - Was he speaking to me or what? Here I was sitting on a plane, going to

some city working my "tail off" to gain my fortune. Meanwhile, I was letting

someone else raise my daughter (a nanny), I'd been divorced (one and a half

times - but that's another story and the second one doesn't really count!). I was

making hefty six-figure income (some years close to half a million dollars) and I

was on the verge of bankruptcy! I hadn't been to church (even with the strong

Southern Baptist background that I had), I had complained time and time again to

my "co-workers" that my life was totally out of control and that I felt like I was in

the middle of a tornado just "hanging on for dear life"! I didn't know what had

happened! It had been years since I'd gone to a baseball game, a cookout or

even just a movie with friends. And my guilt was enormous that I was always

"somewhere else" but at home with my little ones when they needed me.

Something was definitely wrong with this picture!

After that plane flight, life was about to dish to me some real consequences that

only later would I be able to remember and put to use the winning "Peanut Race"

formula in my own life. Now, I'm a proud "trophy winner" of life. I've regained my

friendships, my health, I'm happily married and I have a fantastic career. I've

regained my spirituality and I'm refocused on my morals, values and beliefs. For

once, my life is finally under control. Each day is purposeful and exciting. I love

my life! Thank you, whoever and wherever you are for teaching me the valuable

lesson of "balance" in life! Thank you for teaching me about the Peanut Race!

What would really happen if you just took a chance?

If you had one week to live and were asked if there was anything you regret, what do you think you would say? I recently read an article (that now for the life of me I can't find again to link to) which included an interview with a pastor. It was about what people talked to him about when they know they are going to die. No one ever talked to him about things they had done that they regret, but everyone always talked to him about things they wish they had done.

In the past year I've made a real effort to say "yes" more often then I say "no". Whether it's meeting friends for a drink when I feel like I'd rather lay on the couch and do nothing, or riding a mechanical bull when I know I'm going to embarrass the crap out of myself or trying Mahi Mahi when I "know" I'm going to hate it. Each time I end up having an unforgettable night with great friends, a hilarious story to tell the next day, and discovering a new food that I actually love. It's amazing the experiences you can have if you just say yes. You're not going to look back on life and wish you had spent more time watching TV or going to bed early. You're going to wish you had spent more time with the people you care about and that you had done more.

I know far too many people who are too scared to try new things because they are self conscious or worried about embarrassing themselves. Or they aren't willing to talk to someone because they aren't their "type". What would really happen if you just took a chance? A chance on meeting some one new, trying something new, or a chance that while you might look like a fool, you might also have the time of your life? I think I've embarrassed myself so many times in life that I'm immune to feeling embarrassed so I get that this might not be so easy for other people but if you really think about it, who cares?

What you feel embarrassed about, everyone else has forgotten about 10 minutes later. Big deal if you try something new and look like an idiot. Prime example for me. . . running. I am not pretty when I run. It was even worse when I first started running and I know it. I know I looked like the fat girl flailing around on the track but I promise while someone maybe looked at me and laughed, 5 minutes later they had forgotten about me. And in the end it opened up a whole new world of something I really enjoy and that has changed my life.

The same goes for people. Give people a chance! Big deal if he's not your type, and not the cutest guy at the bar. If he says hi, say hi back. Have a conversation. Get to know someone before deciding you aren't interested. You're going to miss out on meeting some amazing people if you aren't willing to step outside of your box. That doesn't just go for people looking for a mate. In general, I think the best part of life is meeting new people and listening to their stories. Everyone has something to offer and you could really learn a lot if you're just willing to listen.

I don't know about you but I refuse to be one of those people that looks back on life and wishes I had done more. I'd like to look back and think "No wonder I'm so damned tired, I had one hell of a time!"

Early Life Crisis

I'm going to start this evening by re-stating my original disclaimer. My blog contains a lot of swear words, I am not politically correct and I will probably say something that offends you. That's the point. I'm not intentionally trying to piss people off but I decided to write a blog so I can just write my ideas, thoughts, and opinions unfiltered, no apologies. I tend to speak my mind and not hold much back, but to survive day to day life (and not get fired) I do have to hold back and filter some of what comes out of my mouth. The reason for me writing a blog was to not have to worry about any of that. And contrary to what my husband says, I am not trying to be mean!

So on that note, this evenings post isn't offensive or mean. Just keep my disclaimer in mind for future posts :)

I've decided I'm going though a minor early life crisis. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up and I'm getting really sick of trying to figure it out. I'm not saying anything good or bad about my current position, I just have SO many ideas of things I would love to do or businesses I would like to start but no means of implementing any of them. And we're not really in a financial position to just try something out and hope for the best. I have a huge desire to have my own business I just don't know what or how to start. I really would like to find something I can be passionate about and build a life around. I'm also totally open to winning the lottery and never having to work again :) SO, if any of you have any experience in helping people figure out what they want to do with their life let me know! Or if you have a large sum of money just laying around with nowhere to go, I would be happy to help ya out.

(SEE I can write a post that isn't "mean")

Random bit of advice. . .

First, my follow up from the Winter Beer Festival: AMAZING day. . horrible night and next day. If I ever doubted this whole gluten free thing it has been more than re-confirmed. The most depressing part of the whole thing. . .I don't even like the taste of beer as much as I used to. I still thoroughly loved my Vanilla Java Porter and a few others but I didn't love em as much as I used to.. . .depressing. The day in and off itself though was a blast, especially hanging out after in the stadium club and ordering $60 of BK on the Brewer's Guild credit card :)

Second and what I actually wanted to blog about, I've decided 2 things: I am totally a dude at heart and I don't get girls. I absolutely love hanging out with guys who have dirty, raunchy humor and just don't give a shit. I usually surprise them because my humor is dirtier and raunchier than theirs and I really, truly don't give a shit, not like the girls who pretend they are one of the guys but then get offended at every little thing they say. Sometimes, I really just don't get the female race. I absolutely love my girlfriends and would be lost without them but sometimes I just don't get em. Luckily I've found a few soul sisters who are quite similar to myself but overall girls are crazy! I don't get the "I wish he would do this but I would never actually I tell him what I want" and the "she's such a bitch but we pretend we're best friends" or the "my boyfriend absolutely cannot go out without me and if he does I'm going to be pissed". Get a fuckin grip. If there is one thing I absolutely cannot stand it's couples who are attached at the hip and won't do anything without each other. I also can't stand girls who get upset if their guy looks at another girl or (OMG) goes to a strip club. If you don't have enough trust in each other to let the other do what they want then you probably should re-think your relationship. And if your dude has to "get permission" from you before hanging out with his buddies then I say your damn lucky he's even still your dude.  I know I haven't been married that long but I'm pretty sure one of the big keys to a happy marriage is not losing your individuality. It's important to compromise and learn to be a couple but it's just as important to still have a life of your own and let your other half have a life of their own as well. If you have to drastically change to be in a relationship with some one then it is not a relationship you should be in. . .this goes for friendships too.

Pretty sure I strayed from what I originally wanted to write about but there's a random bit of advice on relationships for ya. . it's good advice, take it. If you don't, then it's your own fault if you die old and alone.

"Fuck it! I'm doing what I want!"

My time has come. I am officially 3 days away from THE best day of the year. . .WINTER BEER FESTIVAL!!  I know, I know it's JUST a beer festival (if that is how you feel then we absolutely cannot be friends anymore) but very few people truly understand what this day is to me. It is my one day of the year that I get to be a normal person and eat and drink whatever the hell I want! It's my "day off of Celiacs". Now I guess I should re-phrase I don't really "get" to do this, I choose to do this. According to my doctor "it's not gonna kill ya" (I may have had selective hearing during that whole conversation) so why not! I refuse to accept the fact that I can never drink good beer again in my lifetime so this is my way of making a deal with the gluten free gods.. . .I get one day a year.

If you don't know me well then you probably don't know the love I used to have for micro brew beer. Not only did I love the beer (mmm Vanilla Java Porter) but I loved the culture surrounding it. There's this whole subculture of brewers and beer lovers that was just completely me. And then one day I was told I have this dumb ass disease and my world fell to pieces. OK, that might be slightly dramatic but I did cry. It's one thing to go on a diet or to choose to become a vegetarian but to be told you can never have certain things for the rest of your life and you have no choice just plan sucks. I know it could be a hell of a lot worse. . .if this is my ailment in life then I am damn lucky, but it still sucks. People just don't quite get it. It's so much more then just not being able to eat certain things but I don't need to get into all that now. I'm excited about my 1 day and I don't care about the ramifications. Truthfully I have no idea how I am going to feel. Last year I had only been gluten free for a few months and it didn't affect me that much so we'll see what happens!

I think you should all take a cue from me and take a day to do whatever the heck is is you want to do. People are so freakin uptight now a days with not allowing themselves to eat this or do that or "I really shouldn't. . . ".  You would be surprised how great it feels to take a day and just say "Fuck it! I'm doing what I want!" In my case it probably won't feel so great the next day but that makes it even more important that I enjoy every last second.

My official list of gluten filled foods to eat on Saturday: a jelly filled doughnut, Pizza Hut bread sticks, an original chicken sandwich from Burger King (forgoing the chicken nuggets this year), and a Twix.

It will probably do me some good

I've come to the conclusion that being an adult takes far too much time, effort and energy and I'm quite certain I don't like it. I spend way too much time either at work, cleaning the house, paying bills, doing laundry, grocery shopping, and doing the hundreds of other "adult" things that are really not fun. I know life can't always be fun, but I really wish I had more time to do the things I enjoy instead of constantly trying to get things done and get caught up on chores.

Since I'm probably not going to be rich enough to not work and hire a house keeper any time soon I've decided I need to try and get myself in a better routine of keeping up on my "adult" responsibilities so I can have more time to do the things I enjoy and to just relax.  I seem to have a lot of lingering projects I need to get done that in the end would help me save time so I decided I'm going to take the month of March off of life. I obviously can't take a month off work, so I need to spend the evenings and weekends focusing on getting some projects done and getting myself in a routine that is conducive to doing all the things I want to be able to do. I seem to be a fan of doing things like this (remember when I only ate fruits and veggies for two weeks?) and I'm kind of excited. I need some time to focus on me and March seems like a good month to do it.

I tend to be a very impulsive person and just do what I want to do when I want to do it. I definitely need to learn a little discipline (a little, not a lot). In the end it will probably do me some good. I'm hoping to get myself back on track with a gym routine too. I've been way to hit or miss lately and really need to get back into it. I have a 2 piece bathing suit that I WILL wear this summer damnit! So. . I'm inviting you along on yet another one of my random little life journeys. (And yes, I know it's not even the middle of February yet, but this is a very hectic month so it didn't really work to start now.)

Total unrelated side note, 2 more weeks until I take my day off Celiac Disease for BEER FESTIVAL! So stinkin excited. Stay tuned for my list of gluten filled foods I'll be eating that day. . .CHICKEN NUGGETS!!

Sprinkle me in a garden. .

Watch This. . . .This is What Madeline Did in 2011

Now to start with, Madeline was my 1st grade buddy in elementary school. I remember her being a really creative, really cool kid so it was just kind of fun to see this. But more importantly I wanted to share it because I found it very inspiring. I really have no idea what her intentions were with the video but to me it shows us that every day can be something special and it's worth it to take the time to savor each day. . .  even if you are just doing something menial like hanging out with your cat. It's so cliche, we've all heard the live each day to the fullest quotes (I am sort of a sucker for those things) but have you really taken the time to implement something like that in your life? Or to reflect on if what you're doing each day is really worth it? My original blog post was going to be about death (no I'm not suicidal or anything crazy) and I think this sorta leads into what I was going to write about.

We're all going to die, and I hate to be the one to break it to you, but odds are it's not going to be when you're 110 years old, peacefully in your sleep. It's probably going to be painful or unexpected, or at the end of a long, tiring battle with some horrible disease. -hope you weren't looking for an uplifting blog post- I think the sooner we accept that and become OK with that fact, the sooner you actually can start to live your life. If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, there's not enough time to do all the things you would want to do or tell everyone the things you want to tell them, so would you be content with what you've done and the things you've said? I'm not going to tell you to do all kinds of crazy stuff and spill your heart out to everyone in your life in case you get hit by a car tomorrow, because that's not possible, but would you be able to say you're happy with the life you lived and it's alright that your time has come? Now don't get me wrong, if I knew I was going to die tomorrow, I would damn well fight like hell to stay alive. . .there's a whole lotta shit I want to get done before I go anywhere, but if that inevitable time were to come, I am happy with the life I've lived and there are very few things that I would wish had been said or done.

It's not really a matter of living each day like it's your last, it's just a matter of being content with your life and the choices you've made. And if you're not content with your life then do something to change that. Sitting on the couch crying about it isn't going to get ya anywhere. If there is one thing I absolutely can't stand it's self pity. Get the fuck over it, figure out what you need to change and do it. You are going to die so why not make your time here worthwhile?

And since we are talking about death I'm putting in writing, right here that when I die, please cremate me and sprinkle me in a garden or a river or something (ok maybe not a river, I'm terrified of fish) and do not make people go to "visitation". Those things are awkward and uncomfortable. If you're gonna cry over me please do it at the bar or a park with some 80's rock playing in the background and a bunch of pictures of me around making ridiculous faces. I should totally be a funeral director.

Guess who's back, back again. . .

I'm making my triumphant return to the blogging world!! Be excited. In the past I've had a few different ideas of what I wanted my blog to be, and who I wanted to read it and I've decided it's probably going to be something different every time I write, and I don't really care who reads it. So, for my loyal followers (I think there's like 7 of you) NO EXPECTATIONS! You're gonna get what you get. . .which basically sums me up so it seems appropriate. This will definitely be my place to rant and share my opinions on things. Odds are, I'll piss you off at some point, and I would encourage you to argue with me. I have my opinions but I'm certainly not always right and will always listen to the other side of the story. Just don't get pissed if you don't change my mind :) I DESPISE when people get in deep discussions or arguments on facebook (which I may have kind of done recently) so this will be my place to vent. Like I said, be excited. I like to think I have a good sense of humor too (I think I recently told a friend "I'm fucking hilarious, why wouldn't you want to be friends with me?") so be ready to laugh. You can expect a real post - this one was just to announce my return- later this week!