You are what you think

Well it's back to real life after a fabulous holiday weekend. . .which also just happened to include my 28th birthday. It was an amazing few days (minus the 8 hour long hangover on Saturday) with friends and family, eating and drinking, playing games and eating some more. I've decided we should get a 3 day weekend like that at least once a month. It's good to have some time off to really relax and enjoy time with others and, especially over memorial day, to reflect on how blessed we all are. I feel like we get so wrapped up in thinking about what we don't have or how mad we are at some one about something that happened 10 years ago that we forget about all the good things in our lives. Granted, at times it's hard to find any good things, but they're there. You just have to choose to focus on them no matter how big or small. I'm trying to focus my blog on my journey to become healthier and a huge part of that is emotional health. I don't think you can maintain physical health if you aren't emotionally healthy as well. You are what you eat just as much as you are what you think. If your thoughts are of gratitude, peace, and joy then that is how you will approach situations, even tough ones.

My new years resolution this year was to simplify. I didn't specify what I wanted to simplify because I just overall wanted to clear the clutter, literally and not so literally. Think of how great it feels to clean out your closet at the end of the season (boys might not get this). It lets you see what items you may need to buy and what old ratty clothes you need to toss. It's a good thing to do mentally too. Toss out the old grudges, greed and mental clutter and suddenly you have all this energy and space to devote to the things you were missing. On my own personal journey I've tossed a lot of stuff out - including really ugly clothes from high school. I've forgiven people who probably never even knew they needed forgiving, I've quit being jealous of others for the way they look and the things they have and I'm learning that the way I look and the things I have are perfect and the things themselves really are just that, things. I have a whole new mental peace with my life and I would like to think that radiates to the people I'm around. I don't do stress or drama, it's not worth my energy or time, both of which I never seem to have enough of. It really is easier to forgive, forget, let things go and laugh it off. You will live a longer and more fulfilled life. . . .I'm sure there is some study somewhere that would prove me right :)

Now is the New Beginning

I did it! I ran my first 10K! And I ran the WHOLE thing, minus about 20ft where I was so smooshed between people that I couldn't run. And ya know what, I actually had FUN! I met some very inspiring people along the way and really enjoyed the whole experience. I was slow, but I finished in an hour and a half and actually did not come in last :) It's a pretty amazing feeling to think I actually ran 6.2 miles when a year and half ago I couldn't run down the block and up until Saturday I didn't actually think I could run more than 4 miles.

Around mile 4.5 when I needed something to distract me from the ungodly burning in my thighs, I started thinking about what comes next for me. I've come a LONG way in the past year, part of which includes finally figuring out what was medically wrong, and while I am incredibly proud of my accomplishments thus far, I feel like now is the new beginning.  Now that I have found something I really enjoy I want to focus on running and work to improve my mile time and eventually distance (one thing at a time). I've learned a lot about what I can and can not eat based on my celiacs but I also want to focus more on eating natural, healthy foods. I do want to start incorporating a more well rounded work out as well with weight training and trying out some different sports and classes. In the end, yes, I do hope these things lead to me losing the rest of the weight FOR GOOD, but besides that, these things make me feel better. Working out and eating well makes me feel far more confident. It makes me wake up in the morning ready to go and makes me feel like I can take on new challenges personally and professionally. It makes me want to look my best and go out with friends and meet new people, and makes me want to get all dolled up for a date with my hubby. Whether I lose the weight or not, simply feeling this much better about myself and about life is worth the extra effort it takes to work out and eat well.

Because of this revelation, I think I have decided that is what my blog is going to be about. While I guarantee there will still be posts about random subjects that don't have to do with anything, overall I want to take you on my journey and hopefully help to inspire and encourage people like myself along the way. I've always been told I have a very unique perspective on life and a good down to earth grasp for "someone my age" so this may be a good way for me share it with the world. And of course I plan to do it in the bluntly honest, sarcastic, funny, non politically correct way that is ME :)

This one's for the fat kids

I am running my first 10K this weekend! This is huge for me! 6.2 miles is far. . . reallllly freaking far, and I am RUNNING it. So here's some back story and my attempt at inspiring people like myself. I am not a natural born, physically fit person. Frankly, when it comes to any type of physical activity, biology is working against me. I am not a small person, have never been a small person, and will never be a small person. I'm fairly confident that if I was super skinny I would look like an alien because I have such large feet, hands, head, etc. Anyways, being larger makes it much more difficult to do physical activities. It's not an excuse. I'm not asking for people to feel sorry for me. It's simply a fact. The fat kid can't run as fast or do as many sit ups as the skinny kid. I wasn't fat because my parents fed me fast food or because I laid on the couch all weekend, I was just a naturally larger kid. So growing up, gym class was like sending me into the hot fires of hell. I hated it. And I think it's cruel and unusual punishment to make kids run a timed mile, or count the # of sit ups and pull ups they can do in front of their peers. It makes the fat kids DESPISE gym, when those are the ones you should be encouraging to love physical activity. Long story short, I did end up losing a bunch of weight in college just to gain it all back and then some once the celiac disease kicked in. Basically my whole life I have been overweight and not very physically fit. Pretty sure there hasn't been a day since probably 1st grade when I haven't thought about my weight. Again, not asking for pity, just simply a fact that I know a lot of other people can relate to. Finally, about a year and a half ago I decided I wanted to run a 5K. I've always worked out, pretty much since high school, just never anything super intense or challenging and I certainly wasn't able to run more than 10ft without wanting to die. I basically just made up my mind I wanted to run this 5K and was going to do it no matter what. I think it really is as simple as that. (This is where I am going to inspire you). What I learned is, I (and you) can do anything. It's a matter of making up your mind to do something and being willing to put in the work to get there. My particular focus here is on losing weight and getting healthy. Assuming you don't have any medical conditions, any overweight person CAN lose weight. And you CAN do it without surgery, disgusting canned drinks, or pills. You can learn to eat healthy and you can learn to be physically active but you have to be willing to do it. It's a hell of a lot harder for some us who don't naturally lose weight easily but it's not impossible. It is in your control and only your control. Maybe you're heavy because you parents were heavy but get over it. You can do something about it. It is 100% mental. You make up your mind and you never look back. It might be hard as hell, and painful at times, and time-consuming but if your sick of being uncomfortable in your own skin like I was then just do it. I promise, if I can run a 5K (and this was while being incredibly sick from all the celiac crap) you can do it to. Maybe your thing isn't running but find something and commit to doing it. You will thank yourself in the end. And you will realize how much more you are capable of mentally and physically than you ever imagined. No one has the right to bitch and complain about their situation unless they are doing something to change it. And while there is a good chance I will come in last, and I might not be able to move for the next week I will run this 10K and I will finish this 10K and I will prove to myself once more that I can do it. Weight wise, I still have long way to go but I can honestly say I have never felt better about myself and it make take a while, but I will get to my goal weight and I will enjoy every adventure on the way.