Finally. . . A Blog Post!

I think my most recent posts have been a lot less harsh but none the less I thought this picture was beyond appropriate and it made me laugh. I guess I use the word recent pretty lightly since its been forever since I've even posted anything. It's my total life makeover that is taking over my life!! Things have actually been going really well, just really busy. Started my new career and am finally falling into the groove of it - think this one may stick for more than a year or two, just the past 2 weeks I've been getting myself back into running (yes, I still think I'm running a 25K next year), and everything else I mentioned in the last post is falling into place. I do feel myself becoming a much more balanced person overall. 

We spent last weekend camping with friends  which was beyond amazing and a much needed break. I am definitely the type of person that just needs to get away once in a while. Being outside, not checking my cell phone, laughing, joking, relaxing. . . .It just felt good to be around people I always have a blast with and am completely comfortable with (even though I just met 2 of them!) and to not have to put on make up or care about really anything at all. I even went skinny dipping in Lake Michigan which never in my wildest dreams would I think I would do with other people around. Granted, it was really dark, but I'm generally not the type of person who is OK with even wearing a bathing suit so that was kind of a huge deal when I actually thought about it after the fact. I am overall a very confident person but my body is one thing I've never been overly confident about. In fact it's something I've obsessed about for the greater portion of my life. I honestly cannot think of a time in life when I have not been trying to lose weight. I've done the diets, the weight watchers, the this, that and the other. Some have worked, some have seriously failed. I've lost significant amounts of weight just to gain them back, it's a never ending battle and I have never once been OK with the way I look. Frankly, it's exhausting to think how much time and mental energy I've spent on obsessing about my weight. I'm finally starting to learn that I'm perfectly fine the way I am.  And now that I am fine with the way I am, I am slowly starting to lose the weight, and lose it for good. . . .sure wish some one would have told me that was the secret 20 years ago. Seems so simple! I'm sure it has to do with my running and complete alteration of my diet, but it's beyond freeing to not obsess on it. I'm running because I have a goal to run the race, and I changed my diet to feel better and not be sick. . . my decisions were not based on wanting to lose weight, and they were life style changes, not temporary fixes. And finally, I am eating what I like and working out when I want and not obsessing about calorie counting, or work out regimens, or weighing in at a meeting. It's starting to become part of every day life like brushing my teeth. I could seriously write a billion pages on this and my next few posts will probably be related. I feel like if I could have had this epiphany years ago, I could have saved myself a ton of emotional stress, and maybe by sharing I can help some one else in the same situation. 

And now, just because of the picture, I feel like I need to close with something kind of feisty. I found a quote I loved recently: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." If people spent as much time focusing on how to change their situations instead of constantly bitching, the world would be a much better place. . .and I would be far less irritable :) QUIT YER BITCHIN!

The Peanut Race

For a while now I've been slowly changing a lot of things in my life and really learning a lot about myself. . .what I enjoy, what I value, what I want to do when I grow up, who really cares about me, who I really care about, the list goes on. Slowly but surely I've started this whole revolution without even realizing it. I've decided to call it my total life makeover (sounds catchy right?). I think it really started with my health and my celiac diagnosis which has since lead to various other health issues but along the way it's become so much more than just trying to not be sick all the time. I'm really transitioning to a very natural and more simple life, from food to the items I purchase to the things I choose to do each day. I'm training for my first 25k race, I'm starting a new career, we are living off cash (no more Target splurges!) and paying off our debt, I'm learning to grow my own vegetables and eat all natural, non processed foods, we're cleaning out the un-needed junk in our house and I'm spending my time and energy on the genuine relationships in my life. . . .and I do plan to return to church someday. Contrary to what my previous self thought, I don't need a new shirt to be happy, I don't need a fancy dinner to be full, and running is actually therapeutic (notice I did not say fun). Maybe I'm just growing up (which I doubt because I still love drinking until 2am and sleeping until noon) or maybe the events of my life are just starting make sense and I'm finally ready to not only accept certain things but to really appreciate them. So now that you've had a small peak into my soul (yes, I do in fact have a soul) here is a great article that helped to put everything in perspective for me. It's a little long but it really hit home with me and maybe it will with you too.. . . .

The Peanut Race

By Gloria Tibbs

In route from one city to another (I never can seem to remember the destination

with all the travel - I just remember that I was on a plane!), a gentleman (much to

my senior - I don't really want to call him "elderly"!) sat next to me and we struck

up a conversation (you know, the kind about the weather - not too much

substance). Then this man proceeded to teach me the most important lesson

(bar none!) that life has ever taught me!

As he took the cocktail napkin (from under his soda) and the pen from his shirt

pocket, he drew six shapes that all resembled a Peanut. He went on to say, "I

want to teach you something about life. It's kind of like a Peanut Race." I thought

"Peanut Race? Now, that's a new one!" He asked, "Have you ever played a

Peanut Race?" I quickly responded, "No, I can't say that I have!" (I was humored

by his "southern drawl" and he appeared to be really witty!) He continued, "Well,

when I was a little boy," I thought to myself that had to be a good 70 years or so

at least! "We didn't have a lot of money, so we had to come up with something

creative to entertain us. The Peanut Race was always my favorite! (I was thinking

by now, OK - but what's this got to do with life? Sounds like a kid's game!) He

explained, "The way you play this game is that you paint all of the peanuts

different colors and you give each kid six peanuts --one of each color. Then you

line the peanuts up in front of each kid and you tape down a strip of masking tape

(or draw a straight line of chalk if you're playing outside) about six feet away from

the peanuts. The kid that gets their peanuts across the line of tape (or chalk) first

wins! There's only one rule - you can only move the peanuts with your nose! You

can't pick them up, kick them or put them in your mouth! You have to roll them

with your nose."

By now I was getting intrigued, and I asked, "So, did you usually win?" He

laughed and said, "Not for a very long time. You see, I always came in last. It

took me years to figure out the trick." "What trick?" I asked. "Well," he continued,

"You see the kid that always came in last, me, tried to roll one peanut at a time

across the line. I'd take the yellow one first and roll it six feet from the starting

point - all the way across the line and then I'd come back and get the red one. I'd

roll it all the way across the line and then I'd come back and get the blue one, the

green one, and so on and so forth." I interrupted, "Well, that sounds like how you

should play the game." "Not really, Not when you really think about it. You see,

the kid that always came in first was really smart. He was really clever and time

and time again he'd finish the race long before anyone else!" "How?" I finally

asked.

"You see, he knew that the real secret of winning this race was to keep all the

peanuts as close together as possible and in focus. He'd push the yellow one

ahead about an inch, then he'd get the pink one and push it about an inch, then

the blue one, then the red one, back to the yellow, then the pink, then the blue

and so on. The other players would make six very long trips (back and forth) to

get their peanuts --you know, they'd take the red one all the way then go back go

fetch the blue one. But not this kid, he made only one trip keeping all his peanuts

right in front of him the whole time and never loosing site of any of them."

(Now I was really confused) "OK, it sounds like a fun game but I still don't see

how this game applies to life?" He just laughed, "Patience" he said and then

continued, "Have you ever noticed in life how people forget what's really

important? Like the mega-millionaire that killed himself the other day? Seems he

accomplished all his goals, he got all the money and fame he was striving for but

he lost his family, his friends, his morals and his health along the way?" "Yeah,

You hear about things like that all the time - You wonder why things like that

happen," I said. He continued, "Or, Don't you frequently hear people say how

miserable they are with their job, in their personal life, that their health is shot,

they should loose weight, quit smoking (or whatever) but they never seem to

have the time?" "Absolutely - I hear people complain all the time" I responded.

"What about the guy (or gal) who is unfaithful to their spouse (and their family)

because they're not satisfied with the life they are living and they feel that they

must "cheat" on their partner to feel "complete and satisfied?" he asked. "Well,

I've certainly witnessed that many times in my life", I confessed.

Then he "hit me right between the eyes" with a lesson I will never forget! "Well,

you see, life is kind of like a peanut race. If you let each color peanut represent a

different aspect of your life you'll see what I mean. For example, the red peanut

would represent a person's career. The green peanut would represent a person's

family. The blue peanut would represent a person's friendships. The yellow

peanut would represent a person's health. The pink peanut would represent a

person's morals, belief's and values, etc. You can really make the meaning

different to each peanut - whatever you want to label it as." "I'm beginning to get

the picture but I'm not quite with you yet", I responded.

"Well, the sad thing about life", he continued, "is that too many people don't really

understand how to play the game. They get their priorities out of focus and they

get totally confused about what's really important. You see, many people will play

the game just like the kids that always loose - they'll focus on one aspect of life

(you know, one peanut) at a time. For example, haven't you heard people say,

"I'll just throw myself into my career, I'm going to concentrate on my success and

nothing else." They think everything else will just "catch up" some day. They

overlook (or leave behind) their family, their friends, their health and perhaps

even their morals, values and beliefs. Then one day they wake up and wonder

why they gained success in the business world and lost everything else along the

way." "I see" I responded (and I was beginning to see…). "You see, Gloria other

people give all their energy and focus to the family or their friends and they never

seem to be able to have a successful career! They bring their problems to work

and they can never give their undivided attention to the job, all their attention is

focused on their personal life - it can work both ways!"

"Wow" - Was he speaking to me or what? Here I was sitting on a plane, going to

some city working my "tail off" to gain my fortune. Meanwhile, I was letting

someone else raise my daughter (a nanny), I'd been divorced (one and a half

times - but that's another story and the second one doesn't really count!). I was

making hefty six-figure income (some years close to half a million dollars) and I

was on the verge of bankruptcy! I hadn't been to church (even with the strong

Southern Baptist background that I had), I had complained time and time again to

my "co-workers" that my life was totally out of control and that I felt like I was in

the middle of a tornado just "hanging on for dear life"! I didn't know what had

happened! It had been years since I'd gone to a baseball game, a cookout or

even just a movie with friends. And my guilt was enormous that I was always

"somewhere else" but at home with my little ones when they needed me.

Something was definitely wrong with this picture!

After that plane flight, life was about to dish to me some real consequences that

only later would I be able to remember and put to use the winning "Peanut Race"

formula in my own life. Now, I'm a proud "trophy winner" of life. I've regained my

friendships, my health, I'm happily married and I have a fantastic career. I've

regained my spirituality and I'm refocused on my morals, values and beliefs. For

once, my life is finally under control. Each day is purposeful and exciting. I love

my life! Thank you, whoever and wherever you are for teaching me the valuable

lesson of "balance" in life! Thank you for teaching me about the Peanut Race!

What would really happen if you just took a chance?

If you had one week to live and were asked if there was anything you regret, what do you think you would say? I recently read an article (that now for the life of me I can't find again to link to) which included an interview with a pastor. It was about what people talked to him about when they know they are going to die. No one ever talked to him about things they had done that they regret, but everyone always talked to him about things they wish they had done.

In the past year I've made a real effort to say "yes" more often then I say "no". Whether it's meeting friends for a drink when I feel like I'd rather lay on the couch and do nothing, or riding a mechanical bull when I know I'm going to embarrass the crap out of myself or trying Mahi Mahi when I "know" I'm going to hate it. Each time I end up having an unforgettable night with great friends, a hilarious story to tell the next day, and discovering a new food that I actually love. It's amazing the experiences you can have if you just say yes. You're not going to look back on life and wish you had spent more time watching TV or going to bed early. You're going to wish you had spent more time with the people you care about and that you had done more.

I know far too many people who are too scared to try new things because they are self conscious or worried about embarrassing themselves. Or they aren't willing to talk to someone because they aren't their "type". What would really happen if you just took a chance? A chance on meeting some one new, trying something new, or a chance that while you might look like a fool, you might also have the time of your life? I think I've embarrassed myself so many times in life that I'm immune to feeling embarrassed so I get that this might not be so easy for other people but if you really think about it, who cares?

What you feel embarrassed about, everyone else has forgotten about 10 minutes later. Big deal if you try something new and look like an idiot. Prime example for me. . . running. I am not pretty when I run. It was even worse when I first started running and I know it. I know I looked like the fat girl flailing around on the track but I promise while someone maybe looked at me and laughed, 5 minutes later they had forgotten about me. And in the end it opened up a whole new world of something I really enjoy and that has changed my life.

The same goes for people. Give people a chance! Big deal if he's not your type, and not the cutest guy at the bar. If he says hi, say hi back. Have a conversation. Get to know someone before deciding you aren't interested. You're going to miss out on meeting some amazing people if you aren't willing to step outside of your box. That doesn't just go for people looking for a mate. In general, I think the best part of life is meeting new people and listening to their stories. Everyone has something to offer and you could really learn a lot if you're just willing to listen.

I don't know about you but I refuse to be one of those people that looks back on life and wishes I had done more. I'd like to look back and think "No wonder I'm so damned tired, I had one hell of a time!"